Time

“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't
own it, but you can use it. You can't keep
it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it
you can never get it back.”
~ Harvey MacKay

Time passes by at an uncomfortable speed for me. There's so much I wanna do, yet I don't do. There's so much I wanna become, yet I don't put in time to become "that". I'm utterly disappointed in myself. I promise I will change. I promise I will take steps in spending my time more wisely. I need to hold myself accountable.

I'm the type of person who always misses the old days; who always ponders about the future. What I don't do is focus on the present. I got to start focusing on the present. I got to start working harder, putting more effort in what I do, and really start living every day to the fullest.

cheering up dinner

today i decided to splurge a little on my dinner. for the past few days i have been very stressed and overwhelmed with all the work i have to do within the next two weeks. soo little time to do soo much stuff. basically i have been eating random crap for the past few days; bags of ramen, chips, jellybeans, honey roasted peanuts, etc. i wanted to cheer myself up through today's dinner, hoping it will motivate me to continue pushing on and working hard. it did! haha
you're probably wondering what i ate exactly.

Saturday May 29th's Dinner

ridiculousness

my faith in Oshio, a local asian restaurant, was shattered when i saw a mexican worker opening up a bag of shin ramyun noodles in the kitchen. little did he know i could see what goes on in the kitchen from the seat i was in.

i knew right at that moment the ramen i ordered 2 minutes ago for $6.55 was gonna be a huge disappointment.
indeed it was. the description on the menu sounded soo yummy; hot spicy broth with egg and SQUID. but the bowl i got had diluted soup, overcooked egg and 4 pieces of squid that was around 1 cm in diameter and 2 mm in height.

it was basically 1 of this cut into 4 pieces.


nvr been to a restaurant with owners cheap to this extent. they are lucky their restaurant is a 30 sec walk from campus.

current obsession: snails & orange bell peppers

orange bell peppers became my new favorite snack when it went on sale last week.
it's soo fresh, sweet, juicy, and tasty.
orange bell peppers pwns all other colors because it's the sweetest and contains the most vitamin C and A.
random tip: tastes extra good dipped in ranch =)



today i became really fascinated with this snail. on my way walking back home on a rainy, gloomy afternoon i saw this snail crawling. it caught my attention instantly cuz it was in the middle of the path and its body was so huge. it was my first time giving full undivided attention to a snail =O i had a lot of fun just stopping everything, bending down, and watching the snail slowly crawl. it cleared my mind from thinking about school and my super duper long list of things to do.
i gotta say i had an awesome alone time with a very special snail. haha

sum 41-motivation

i have been lacking motivation these days. and a certain somebody has been calling me out on that. >.<


What's the difference of never knowing at all?
When every step I take is always too small.
Maybe it's just something I can't admit but lately,
I feel like I don't give a shit.

Motivation such an aggravation,
Accusations don't know how to take them.
Inspiration's getting hard to fake it.
Concentration's never hard to brake it.
Situation never what you want it to be.

What's the point of never making mistakes?
Self-indulgence is such a hard habit to brake.
It's all just a waste of time in the end.
I don't care so why should I even pretend.

Nothing's new, everything's the same.
It keeps on dragging me down, it's getting kind of lame.
I'm falling further behind, there's nothing to explain.
No matter what you say nothing 's gonna change my mind.

Can't pretend on doubt until the end.
It seems like leaving friends has become
This years trend and though I can't pretend.
It's not the same but who's to blame,
For all those stupid things I never said.

Motivation such an aggravation,
Accusations don't know how to take them.
Inspiration's getting hard to fake it.
Concentration's never hard to brake it.
Situation never what you want it to be.

Motivation such an aggravation,
Accusations don't know how to take them.
Inspiration's getting hard to fake it.
Concentration's never hard to brake it.
Situation never what you want it to be.

this song pretty much sums up how i feel a lot of times

eek a rat!

i abhor rats with passion, they make me feel extremely extremely disgusted. they also make me literally shudder with disgust and fear. i think it's something to do with their long naked tails, because i'm totally cool with hamsters, guinea pigs, and rabbits. i find them super cute, adorable, and lovable. the only rat i'm cool with are animated ones such as ratatouille, pinky, and the brain. ^_^

these rats are my homies



rat tails are not my homies



in 3rd grade i found out that the mere presence of a rat flusters me greatly. it was an afternoon after school. i was chilling at home playing mancala by myself. i was laying on the floor playing, suddenly i saw a rat strolling down the hallway in front of me. it took me awhile to process exactly what just happened. then i realized, OMFG there's a rat in the house. the rat was dark, dirty looking, and had that despicably long hard-looking tail...ugh. i ran over to my mom and yelled at her to do something. she's like calm down, the rat will go outside to it's home, so stop worrying girll. of course i didn't believe her cuz i was a skeptical and SMART kid. i couldn't stop thinking about the rat everyday, wondering where it was. i was scared to walk on the floor. i would tip toe and walk everywhere in the house, hoping that it would decrease my chance of stepping on where the rat has stepped on before. when i slept, i would tuck my blanket under me super tightly, scared that if i let the blanket hang off the side, the rat would brush its germs on the blanket or climb into bed to sleep with me.
but eventually after a long time i stopped thinking about the rat. from later encounterings with rats i found that i always become mentally and physically paralyzed when i see a rat.

motorcycles

something about couples on motorcycles just intrigues me. i can't help but stare.

today, while i was on the bus, i saw a couple on a motorcycle. she was holding onto her man tightly while her man put his hands gently on top of hers, as if to reassure her that he'll make sure she's safe. the scene of a couple holding tightly onto each other zooming swiftly through the traffic just touches my heart. it's a beautiful image that shows a contrast between soft romanticism and dare-devil edgy. i wonder how invigorating it would be to hold onto someone i love and zoom past the unforgiving world filled with obstacles with only me and him on the motorcycle. how it would be like not giving a crap about anything except ourselves...how it would be like depending on my other half completely. i wonder these things, because i know i wont be able to be that reckless ever, and i know i would never be able to let go of the feeling of being in control. i know it's foolishness to be the woman in back of the motorcycle, believing her man can ensure her safety. we all know that the driver cannot ensure anyone's safety. the road is unpredictable; life is unpredictable. you'll never know if you'll slid on the next turn, if you'll flip and crash on the next obstacle... let alone you'll know that the person who you're trusting will let you off the bike unscathed.

but seeing a couple zooming past me on their motorcycle makes me feel envious and curious. they seem like they have it all. the closeness, the excitement, and blind trust i want to feel in my life.
i feel like those are elements that i need to add to my life. i need to start taking chances, start trusting people, stop doubting myself, and stop hesitating.

dear god, please give me the strength to disregard my fears that are setting me back.

moral dilemma

a lot of times in life we are faced with moral dilemmas. do we do what we know is right or do we do what feels right?
in psych class today the professor talked about morality. everyone develops their own sense of what is right or wrong based on internal and external factors. some people may bend societal expectations and rules more to fit the situation they are in, while others may be super sticklers on following the rules.

my teacher presented the class with this moral dilemma that decider of organ receivers have to face daily
for example on the waiting list:
1)Jon Doe age: 65 need: heart waitlisted for: 37 months
2)Molly Sue age: 23 need: heart waitlisted for: 25 months

who will you decide to give the organ to? the person on the waiting list first? or base your decisions on other factors?

i dont know my answer yet. .___.

here ya go ;)

a verry veryy uber special friend of mine told me to write about fish when i told him i was stuck on what to write for today.

i surfed the web to get some inspiration.
found some interesting pics. enjoy haha =D



fish flops?! buy me some XD
kinda nastyy though




this pic caught my attention. had to ponder for a bit, trying to figure out if the person holding the fish tank is a woman or man... =O
what do YOU think? haha

strawberry addict

craving for some of this
i will resist all temptation to buy strawberries.
i must only buy if it's 2/$5. >.<

i loveeeee strawberries.

old people

haha can't forget about the old people, cuz they're also cool cats =)




when i grow old, i wanna stay young at heart. im gonna be the weird grandma who still plays maplestory. keke =P

the senior population is often forgotten by today's society, despite being one of the fastest growing population. it makes me sad when i think of all the negative stereotypes that people have for seniors. "cranky" "smelly" "boring" "slow" "disabled" "old" "old fashioned" etc..etc..
i think there has to be some benefits to being old. you get senior discounts, you become wiser, you are accomplished and confident in who you are, retirement, having time for your hobbies, etc. im sure there are tons of old people out there who are content and happy with their lives. =)
we should stop "sympathizing" old people and "dreading" becoming old. instead we should change our mind sets on aging. i know i definitely need to work on that.

growing up

is hard to accept and embrace completely.
i just wanna stay cute and lovable forever and everrr! rawr >]





hehe yummm =)

babies are just so lovable. they're vulnerable, innocent, dependent, and adorable.
makes me wanna squish and poke them nonstop. hehe >.<

The Postal Service-Be Still My Heart

I was running late for work
So I didn't change my shirt
The evening's drinks left a lingering taste in my mouth
And when I left
You were fast asleep
Tangled in the sheets
And on the bus I could have sworn it was all a dream
And it didn't happen to me

And then I felt the scrapes
From the slippery subway grate.
Oh how you laughed
At my complete lack of grace.
But I could not recall
A more perfect fall
Cause when I looked up into your eyes
It didn't hurt at all.

And I thought, be still my heart
This could be a brand new start, with you.
And it will be clear
If I wake up and you're still here with me in the morning.

And I thought, be still my heart
This could be a brand new start, with you.
And it will be clear
If I wake up and you're still here with me in the morning.

i've listened to this song like a bazillion times but the lyrics never stuck out to me before the way it did today.i felt like today when i listened to the song, the words being sung were just obnoxiously blaring at me; forcing me to listen and soak in every single word. when i was listening to the song i was no longer distracted by the catchy tune and chorus like i used to be. and i'm glad it happened this way because it gave me a lot of insight on how i should approach love. hehe <3
this is the outlook on love that i got from the lyrics of this song.
love gives you a sense of secureness. you can get a feeling of familiarity and redundancy when you're with the one you love. you wake up every morning expecting your loved one to be right next to you. you know their habits; you know what makes them happy; you know what makes them sad; you feel like you know them inside out. sometimes you may even feel a little annoyed that there's no longer any excitement or spontaneity between you two. but please dont forget that when the familiarity and redundancy is taken out of your life you can begin to feel very lost and insecure.
there's always gonna be bumps and detours on your journey finding love. you may get scraped and bruised along the way, but don't give up! just laugh it off and charge on forward. it's ok to be vulnerable and blindly trust in the person you love. by taking a chance, you can potentially gain much more than what you can potentially lose. there's always gonna be that someone out there who can mend your broken heart and heal your wounds. =)
the chorus really appealed to me. it acted as words of encouragement for me.
i need to follow my heart and hope for the best. there may be days where i'm gonna get hurt, days where i feel like giving up, days where i feel bored, and days where i wish i never knew you. but i know for a fact there's always gonna be tomorrow to look forward to. i should look at tomorrow as a "brand new start" for us. i should also be thankful that you're still by my side through it all. <3

first entry

yayy! i'm no longer a virgin; i'm being used. hehe =D <-----blog speaking XD

my owner is gonna write in me hopefully everydayy from now on.